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Movie Review: “Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé”

December 4, 2023 When the writers’ and actors’ strikes of 2023 forced several movies off the fall schedule, it was a pair of musicians that came to the rescue with two of the most heavily-promoted concert movies of all time. “Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour” got the box office through a rough patch back in October. Now comes “Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé” to get it through early December. The box office shouldn’t need Beyoncé to get it through early December, Thanksgiving weekend should have brought about some hits with staying power, but where the slate of traditional blockbusters failed, the concert documentary is here to thrive.  By Bob Carver

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Movie Review: “Napoleon”

November 27, 2023 Ridley Scott’s “Napoleon” did rather well for itself over Thanksgiving weekend, opening in the #2 position at the domestic box office behind the second weekend of the new “Hunger Games.” A debut at #2 behind a not-particularly-beloved returning champion may not sound impressive, but my prediction was that it wouldn’t even finish in the top three. The film is a three-hour, R-rated historical epic that isn’t getting great reviews or generating much Oscars buzz outside of the technical categories. I thought for sure its performance would pale in comparison to family-friendly fare like “Wish” or “Trolls Band Together.” By Bob Carver

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Movie Review: “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes”

November 20, 2023 I’ve been referring to this movie as “Hunger Game of Thrones.” It’s a prequel to “The Hunger Games,” but the influence of a certain HBO fantasy series is pretty apparent with the casting of Peter Dinklage and the “Song of Ice and Fire”-like subheading. I’ve seen it as little more than an attempt to combine two franchises that were wildly popular in their 2010’s heyday, but audiences have since left behind, frankly with a bad taste in their mouths after underwhelming finales. Watching the whole movie as opposed to gleaming the advertising does make it feel like less of an ill-advised cash grab, but still not great.   By Bob Carver

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Movie Review: “The Marvels”

November 13, 2023        The fall from glory of the Marvel Cinematic Universe continues with “The Marvels.” This is not to say that this movie is the “worst” the MCU has ever put out (for one thing, there’s no M.O.D.O.K. in sight), but the franchise has seen better days, both commercially and creatively. I think the problem lies with its middling ambition. It tries to upgrade elements that had been previously relegated to the small-screen when it probably should have made the hard decision to downgrade some big-screen elements.  By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Five Nights at Freddy’s”

November 6, 2023 Last month, I wrote about “The Exorcist: Believer” actually working pretty well as a taut kidnapping thriller until the requisite demon possession stuff kicked in. Now comes “Five Nights at Freddy’s,” which has the opposite problem: the kidnapping-thriller elements get in the way of the supernatural stuff. I think the difference is that I wasn’t exactly eager to get to the possessed children, but I am eager to spend time with possessed child-friendly robots from a family entertainment center. They can have my full attention, no need for distractions from terrified families.    By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour”

October 16, 2023             Taylor Swift is the single most powerful force in pop culture at the moment. Every other musical artist is eating her dust on the charts. Television, upended by writers’ and actors’ strikes, is only doing well with sporting events where the topic of conversation is Taylor and her possible relationship with Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce. On the big screen, audiences’ summer fling with Barbenheimer has cooled off with no heir apparent… except for Taylor, of course.  By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “The Exorcist: Believer”

October 10, 2023 The creative, commercial, and overall cultural impact of 1973’s “The Exorcist” cannot be overstated. Every Halloween, you’re bound to see and hear references to the film, from facsimiles of Linda Blair’s otherworldly-affected face to recreations of the iconic head-spinning scene to quotes of demonic threats that can’t be repeated here. The film spawned both sequels and prequels, none of which I’ve seen, but critical consensus indicates paled in comparison to the original. Now, a nice round 50 years after the original, comes “The Exorcist: Believer.” By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie”

October 2, 2023 Standard disclaimer for any and all “PAW Patrol” media: I am not the target audience for “PAW Patrol.” The target audience for “PAW Patrol” is young children and only young children. This is not a “fun for all ages” property that adults can enjoy as much as kids. At best, adults watching with kids can enjoy how much their kids enjoy it. But adults will not enjoy it for themselves. I saw the movie by myself, and did not enjoy it myself. But there were plenty of kids in the theater and I enjoyed how much they enjoyed it.   By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Expen4bles”

September 25, 2023 Outside of what you see on the posters, the “Expendables” movies have never been particularly ambitious. Sure, it was great that the action stars of previous decades like Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jet Li, Bruce Willis, Chuck Norris, Antonio Banderas, Mel Gibson, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Harrison Ford could come together for a series of action movies in the 2010’s, but the films were never more than just an excuse to sell tickets based on the actors’ names. By Bob Garver

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Movie Review- “The Nun II”

September 11, 2023             “The Nun II” is the ninth film in the “Conjuring Universe,” a franchise tied to the adventures of paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, but it is the third in the series chronologically. Demon-in-a-nun’s-habit Valak (Bonnie Aarons) has made appearances in installments both earlier and later in the franchise’s chronology. In other words, not only has this villain been defeated before, but I know for a fact that she’ll be defeated again. By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “The Equalizer 3”

September 4, 2023 It has been five years since we last saw Robert “The Equalizer” McCall, as played by the ever-arresting Denzel Washington. In that time, we’ve had a pandemic, three seasons of the Queen Latifah TV series (not to be confused with the Edward Woodward TV series from the 80’s), and plenty of time to forget about this iteration of the franchise. I wish Washington and director Antoine Fuqua had forgotten about it too, because they both could have used the time they wasted on this movie doing something worthier of their talents.  By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Gran Turismo”

August 28, 2023         Like its main character, “Gran Turismo” fights hard to overcome the stigma of its association with a video game. Video game movies have taken some big steps lately, both creatively and commercially, with efforts like the “Sonic the Hedgehog” series and “The Super Mario Bros. Movie,” though the genre still lacks that one ceiling-shattering creative standout. Unlike its main character, “Gran Turismo” ultimately can’t quite pull it off. By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Blue Beetle”

August 21, 2023 Having seen the best (“The Dark Knight,” “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”) and worst (“Morbius,” “Fant4stic”) of what the modern superhero genre has to offer, I can report that “Blue Beetle” falls right smack in the middle of the spectrum. It would be easy to write off this movie’s staggering averageness with a wide-brush line like “not a classic, not a disaster,” but I feel the need to stress the degree to which this movie is right on par. By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem”

August 9, 2023 Bad news, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” fans, new installment “Mutant Mayhem” gets the Ninja Turtles all wrong. You know how the characters are usually voiced by adults that make you forget that the characters are even supposed to be teenagers? This movie settles for real teenagers that can play off each other with age-appropriate chemistry. You know how the jokes are usually so lame that the joke itself is how lame they are? This movie can’t go a straight sixty seconds without getting a genuine laugh from me. By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Oppenheimer”

August 1, 2023 The other half of this summer’s “Barbenheimer” phenomenon, “Oppenheimer” did so well in its second weekend that it gets a full review all its own. Sure, it came in a distant second to “Barbie” both weekends, but with an estimated $174 million at the domestic box office thus far, it’s more than on pace to become the biggest movie of all time to never win a weekend. The unofficial, counterintuitive, and highly-unusual “Barbenheimer” marketing campaign (“contrast the glittery comedy with a drama about the atomic bomb”) certainly helped this film’s box office, but it’s a strong enough movie that I’d like to think that it could have been a hit even without its unlikely pink ally. By Bob Garver

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Sound of Freedom proclaims, “God’s children are not for sale!”

July 24, 2023 The Sound of Freedom is being heard from coast-to-coast as the often maligned yet rousingly praised film takes on the likes of Tom Cruise (Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning), Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny) and Cillian Murphy (Oppenheimer,) all theoretically summer blockbusters. The big question is, how can a movie with a paltry budget of $15 million (pocket change for Hollywood elites) hope to succeed against productions costing hundreds of millions of dollars? By Peter Morris

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Movie Review: “Barbie”

July 24, 2023     “Barbie” prides itself on inspiring a full range of feelings – both in its characters and its audience. The characters tap into dark, sad sides they never knew they had, and they find out life is more rewarding for it. The audience is sure to eat up all the easy jokes and sweetness, sure, but they’re also supposed to appreciate the film for its psychological depth and hard-hitting social commentary. Perhaps it’s appropriate that I have a broad range of feelings toward the film. I think there are portions that work very well, and there are entire storylines and characters that could be cut. There are jokes worth laughs, and jokes worth a cold stare. Some of the film’s insights opened my eyes, others made me roll them. But at least the movie is ambitious enough to attempt so many jokes and insights. By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One”

July 17, 2023 Last summer, when “Top Gun: Maverick” was making roughly all the money printed in the United States during that fiscal quarter, I read a number of articles (many publications jumped on the trend at once) calling Tom Cruise various iterations of “The Last Movie Star.” The moniker is obviously an exaggeration – Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt haven’t exactly been left in the dust in Hollywood – but it’s understandable where it comes from. It may take a few beats to remember that the “Avatar” movies star Sam Worthington or that Tom Holland is the most recent (live-action) version of Spider-Man, but there is no such confusion with a Tom Cruise movie. By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: Triple Feature “Elemental”, “Insidious: The Red Door” and “Sound of Freedom”

July 10, 2023  A quick explanation about this week’s movies: with an estimated $40 million at the domestic box office, “Sound of Freedom” had the most money at the end of the weekend. But because it made it a point of opening on Tuesday, July 4, instead of the usual Friday, it had a three-day head start over “Insidious: The Red Door,” which finished with $32 million. I’ve decided to give attention to both movies. I’m also throwing in “Elemental,” which I would have reviewed two weeks ago had I not been on vacation.  By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “The Flash”

June 29, 2023         It’s been a whole two weeks since “Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse” opened, so it’s about time we had another superhero multiverse movie. This one takes place in the DC Extended Universe, which means we’re sure to get some fun takes on Batman and Superman. It’s enough to make one forget that “The Flash” is even in this movie, even though his name is the movie’s entire title. It’s no surprise that the main character is being de-emphasized, given that actor Ezra Miller has spent the last three years embroiled in one scandal after another. That said, if you can look past Miller’s offscreen behavior (and I don’t blame you if you can’t), you’ll find a movie that does justice to Batman, Superman, and especially The Flash.  By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Transformers: Rise of the Beasts”

June 12, 2023 Few blockbuster franchises are as reviled by critics as “Transformers.” The 2007 original and its 2009 sequel “Revenge of the Fallen” both have special places among the worst movies of all time. Later sequels weren’t exactly improvements (though 2018 spinoff “Bumblebee” was surprisingly-well-reviewed), but they didn’t inspire the same vitriol, if only because everyone knew to lower their expectations. Still, the “Transformers” brand is associated with eyesore special effects, nauseating mechanical whooshing noises, and unfunny comedy. Director Michael Bay is out, as apparently even he’s sick of these movies, but Steven Caple Jr. steps in seamlessly to ensure that the new movie is still a blemish on the summer movie calendar.  By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse”

June 5, 2023  How wrong I was about 2018’s “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.” When I saw the first trailer, I remember groaning about starting a fourth big-screen Spider-Man continuity when we were still in the middle of the Tom Holland version, hadn’t had a proper conclusion for the Andrew Garfield version, and weren’t far enough removed from the Tobey Maguire version. The live-action continuities eventually sorted themselves out, but more importantly, the animated “Spider-Verse” quickly became the best continuity of all. And with “Across the Spider-Verse,” it continues to be the best continuity.  By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “The Little Mermaid”

May 30, 2023             Back in 1989, the animated version of “The Little Mermaid” ushered in what came to be known as the “Disney Renaissance,” an era of creative and commercial prosperity where the company reclaimed its position as the king of animated family entertainment. Now in 2023, the company is looking to a live-action version of “The Little Mermaid” to put it back on top of that mountain, minus the animation. Sure, the MCU is doing well, but the studio hasn’t really been connecting with younger audiences lately, at least not at the box office. The pandemic forced “Soul,” “Luca,” and “Turning Red” to go directly to streaming, “Raya and the Last Dragon” opened too soon after theaters reopened to be a blockbuster, “Encanto” didn’t perform as well as its legacy would suggest, and “Strange World” simply did not find an audience. The best performer since 2019 was last year’s critical flop “Lightyear” with $118 million domestic, a number “The Little Mermaid” is projected to nearly match or even beat by the end of the four-day Memorial Day weekend.  By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Fast X”

May 15, 2023   As the tenth (non-spinoff) installment of the “Fast” franchise, “Fast X” has a certain duty to its fans. It needs to up its game from every chapter that came before it. It needs to contain a development so huge, the series will never be the same. It needs to be worthy of having a letter as cool as “X” in its title. Instead what we get is an okay-at-best movie at a point when “okay” is unacceptable.  By Bob Garver

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Movie Review: “Book Club: The Next Chapter”

May 15, 2023 In between “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” (Star-)lording over the competition and “Fast X” running over anything in its path comes “Book Club: The Next Chapter.” This film’s marketing department looked at a lineup of second-tier holidays and noticed that nothing was opening the weekend of Mother’s Day, so this got slotted in. It’s as good a release strategy as any – it’s not like there was some better weekend to release this dreck – but I fear the only bonding children will be doing with their mothers while watching this movie is commiserating over how stupid it is.  By Bob Garver

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